We have some mind-bending lysergic happenings this week, teaching fans. Here are some observations from someone on the front lines, in no particular order of stupidity or absurdity:
* While answering a problem in a math section of the PSSA, one student put this into his calculator: 1/2 + 1/2 =. Glad that expensive scientific calculator did its job.
* One student who I have an odd rapport with – we joke around a lot, etc. – asked me if I had ever heard of the song “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.” He had been telling me the previous day that he liked Green Day and Maroon 5. Now before I continue with tale of absurdity, I must point out that it’s rare for the black kids I’ve taught to like rock, and when they do, they like the bands that have excessive airplay – radio, in malls, in commercials, etc. So I was quite surprised when I looked up the song the boy had mentioned to find it’s by Serj Tankian. Not exactly Maroon 5 music here. So today I told him I had looked it up, and he asked if I had listened to any other songs. He said Serj had a lot of good songs. This totally blew me away. Not only the black/rock thing, but this kid – an immature, off-the-wall smartass who doesn’t use the brains he has to perform well in school – had it in him to look beyond what his environment force feeds him. This has made my day, and I’m not even a fan of Tankian or System of a Down.
* I have one particularly difficult student who among his many pathological tendencies is to call everyone a faggot or gay. He is quite preoccupied with homosexuality. Last week, he turns to me out of the blue and says, “I know why guys are gay. Some of these women be making them be gay.” He said something about how woman harrass men and turn them gay. While I facetiously conceded his point, I reminded him that he talked an awful lot about gay men, and that I was glad he now understood them so well.
* Through the years, my students have possessed disheartening language deficiencies. I speak not as the grammar Nazi I am, but merely as a nominally skilled English speaker. This year’s crop is especially bad. They lack many phonics, decoding, and spelling skills they should have picked up in their early elementary years. To combat this, I went to Barnes and Noble and perused their elementary language workbooks. I found a 4th grade spelling book that addressed some of their issues (one example of what they don’t know and should is their spelling of the word dropped as droped). I gave them the exercises, and yesterday I had a student in my highest-level class ask me for help with breaking some words into syllables. She didn’t know what a syllable was. I couldn’t believe it. She’s not a dumb kid at all, but she in this sense she was. I realized that as I explained syllables to her and she still had no idea, that I’m not equipped or trained to teach elementary language skills. I was able to explain it to her so that she figured it out, but I feel like I’ve entered into a wildly confusing land where normal rules don’t apply. Someone, many someones actually, are leaving our children behind. I feel that despite all my efforts, I am too.
Bellicose Blatherings 
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